Poems about Laughing Coffin
by TheShadowOfZama
Summary: A serie of poems about the infamous murder guild "Laughing Coffin" that terrorised the virtual world of Aincrad. These poems will contain spoilers!
1. Laughing Coffin

**Laughing Coffin**

Beware young adventurer for Aincrad is a dangerous place

When you enter with the threat of permanent danger you are graced

The towns are safe, but think twice about going to the countryside

For in the wilderness a most devious guild hides

Laughing coffin is their name and people say they're quite insane

The towns and cities are safe, but in the wilderness it is they who reign

Assassins, thieves, murderers and the criminally insane if you go against the coffin those you will face

Keep out a watch and stay out of their way for they can make you disappear without a trace

Skilled in stealth and fans of the drug mixing art

They are quite skilled in arranging your unfortunate and painful depart

With player killing skills these men and women are graced

And with them they shall lay their enemies to waste

Laughing Coffin laughingly spreads fear and hate

Their enemies they guide towards their horrid fates

Towards its members however it spreads something else

A sense of belonging which makes their band of outcasts feel quite swell

Enemies of all, but friends of each other

They treat each member as a fellow twisted sister or brother

All for one and one for all

With that line of thought they will gladly charge into their final brawl

 **Author Note:**

 **Greetings everybody, I first and foremost hope that you enjoyed this poem. This is the first of a small serie of poems I will write about Laughing Coffin. The reason for this is that I have noticed there being terribly little poetry on the SAO page of fanfiction and I believe these guys deserved some poems. This is my first attempt at poetry, so I seriously doubt that there isn't at least some constructive criticism that can be given for improving. I base these poems on the Laughing Coffin we know from the anime as I haven't read the manga. I do not know how much different the feared red guild is in the manga, but at least in the anime we get terribly little information about these guys.**

 **I imagined them having at least some sort of close bond due to the fact that whilst they were the biggest murder guild, they still only had around thirty members and it was basically them versus the rest of the players. Above that their fellow guildmembers would be the only ones with a somewhat similar mindset as they themselves.**


	2. The Ambush

**The Ambush**

Gather up brothers and sisters for the time has come

The crusade has come to see us gone

An ambush they planned? As if they could outplay us in our own game

It's a plan they made, a plan for which we will see them killed and maimed.

Our fun and freedom it is they wish to end

So on them with unsheathed blades we shall descend

These invaders at last come into our sight

Confident to dim our light

The speech they give echoes confidence

A tale about how we shall quiver and shake in front of their dominance

Let them have their little speech

When it's done on them our fury shall be unleashed

We struck hard and we struck fast

The looks on their faces when our weapons clashed showed us they were aghast

Outnumbered yes, but between them and us, it is we that possess the bloodlust

Whether we win or not, never shall we let these so called crusaders forget this day in August

The battle's turning and not in our favour

Yet I urge you not to quaver

Whilst the battle is clearly lost and our dreams seem to end up flopped

My guild now death or stopped

Crusaders hear my words and hear them well

For this transgression I shall personally escort you to hell

I am PoH the prince of hell and I am far from done

Of my vengeance I shall spare absolutely none

 **Authors Note:**

 **A small poem about the leader of Laughing Coffin, the infamous PoH or Prince of Hell and his point of view on the ambush battle that took place in August. It was the PvP battle with the most casualties around 21 Laughing Coffin members and 11 Clearers died and it resulted in the incarceration of all Laughing Coffin members with the exceptionof PoH.**

 **I hope that I succeeded in capturing a glimmer of the fighting mentally of the Laughing Coffin members. Please review.**


	3. Kuradeel

**Kuradeel**

Oh how I loathe this guild

I only joined it because I wanted to become more skilled

Being a front line player surely would make me part of the elite

Those thoughts were the greatest of deceits

No fame, no honour nor respect I gained

My true potential always restrained

Never was I allowed to lead a group or a raid

Even though I was one of the best here in SAO, but just as in real life I was left in the shade

Promotion if you could call it that I only made once in my career

Asuna, the second in command her bodyguard I was made, I could see my peers wicked sneers

She doesn't want me around her this I can tell

Oh well I shall return her feelings in kind and make it my mission to make her life a hell

One day to her boyfriend she ran

He proved to be an obstacle in my plan

He challenged me and my overconfidence won him the day

With defeat and shame I was send away

However a man that was part of a defeated guild crossed my path

He promised to assist me with my wrath

So of him many things I did learn

For a revival of Laughing Coffin I too started to yearn

I bided my time and set a trap for the boy

Murdering him I would surely enjoy

Alas his girlfriend put an end to the show

Through my defence she did mow

A final trick I decided to play

It almost won me the day

The boy however ended the strife

And succeeded in ending my life

Though my plans were laid to waste

And my legacy shall be viewed with distaste

I shall pray with all my might that whilst the others may call me a blight

I shall be welcomed in Laughing Coffin's light

I guess now that I am downed

There will be one more Laughing Coffin under the ground

 **Authors Note:**

 **Well the third poem of this little serie focussing on the double agent of Laughing Coffin inside the Knights of the Blood Oath guild. I believe that so far he is the player that came closest to killing Kirito besides Kayaba, but well Kayaba was a special case being an admin and all. We never got a good view of how Kuradeel's time inside the Blood Oath guild was. He was a creep to Asuna and possessed sadistic and psychopatic tendencies towards Kirito and was quite prideful. That's all the anime tells us about him and that he was recruited by PoH after his battle wit Kirito.**


	4. Death Gun

Death Gun

Tell me black swordsman are you scared?

Did these phantoms from the past caught you unprepared?

Our guild scattered and our dreams in flames

But when the death game ended we were once more released from our chains

Out of defeat these spectres rose

Of you we shall dispose

Never again shall you challenge Laughing Coffin's name

We will make sure of it that Gun Gale Online shall be your final game

I wonder if you can still hear our fallen brothers and sisters their cries

Are you still haunted by their dying eyes?

Oh great swordsman let me ask you a thing

How much use will your swords be when guns start to sing?

You helped put our brothers and sisters in the grave

So for your blood too we now crave

Laughing Coffin was for you and most others a curse

In your and their eyes we were the most perverse

Remember well that for us it was the home in real life many of us lacked

Our family scattered, our guild now gone and the dream we had forevermore cracked

For you and the others a bunch of criminals and the criminally insane

For us the only ones that understood our pain

So whoever wins this final clash and stands on the battlefield as the very last

Congratulations, but you still can't change the past.

 **Author's note:**

 **There has been quite a bit of time difference between uploading this poem and the last one, so I do hope you will still enjoy it. Death Gun were actually three players that worked together to reach a comon goal. Two out of three were former Laughin Coffin members, namely Johnny Black and Red-Eyed XaXa. These two were probably amongst the higher ranking members of the murder guild.**

 **Whilst the design of Death Gun was cool and the guy had some good fighting skills, like many SAO villains that came before they just weren't amasingly used. Please leave a review and some constructive critiscm.**


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